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Link Details for: | The Tragedy |
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| Link ID# | 269 |
| Link URL | http:// |
| Submited By | Bruno Stranges |
| Added On | Wed_May_31__2006 |
Description:
The Tragedy The tragedy came and went, but it lingered. My mind raced as I recalled it. I tried to block t out of my mind by keeping myself busy. However the images of the event persisted. Days and then weeks went by, the tragedy still at the forefront of my thoughts. When I pleaded to my friends for help, they obliged by giving me advice. This advice I followed exactly, but it was to no avail. The tragedy had become a part of me and it was growing. I became paralyzed, unable to function normally. I was unable to eat or sleep. It wasn’t until 3 months later that the tragedy finally fled my mind. Unfortunately it took another tragedy, an even bigger one, to finally erase the incident from my thoughts. Now what? The original tragedy had remained with me for months. Does this mean that this seemingly bigger tragedy will remain with me for years? The frustrating thing is that there is no actual proof stating that this current tragedy is any more sever than the last. I am basing this solely on my emotions. The only true reality is that this will not be the last tragedy in my life. I was right, the lingering effects of this “new tragedy” remained for over a year. The sad thing was that by about the 8th month, I couldn’t even fully remember what the tragedy was all about. May way of dealing, was to try to forget. It didn’t matter though for it remained in the pit of my stomach. A sickening feeling which would intensify every now and then just to remind me that it was still there. The littlest of things would give me those feelings of doom. Forgetting to mail a letter or not remembering to grab my cell phone before I left the house. I was almost as if my mind would not allow me to indulge in the problems of this minutia, for there was still “that” bigger problem at hand. I could feel the pain in my stomach expanding. I was now truly becoming paralyzed. I no longer wanted to go to work. Instead my only desire was to stay in bed. All facets of my life were overtaken by the tragedy. It was only for a few brief moments, just before my eyes closed to sleep that the sickening feeling of recalling the incident surpassed. Once I did fall asleep, this darkness had entered my dreams. Where I once dreamt of fluffy clouds, puppies, and beautiful women, my dreams were now infested with hideous insects and blood. Thankfully I was not scared. Was I becoming deranged? Was I finding enjoyment in these gruesome dreams? In one way yes, for it was a deviation from the tragedy. Kind of like turning away from the corpse of a woman who had been run over by a car only to have the bloodied corpse of her baby come into sight. Both are bad situations, but nobody can disagree that the 2nd image was more horrible. This is why most of us would turn our heads back to the image of the dead woman after seeing the mangled baby. I have now come to accept that all tragedies that I experience will stay with me forever. While some of the details may be forgotten, most will add to dreariness that I experience everyday. When someone experiences a tragedy like I have, it is understandable that they have thoughts of wanting to leave this earth. With the realization that there will be more tragedies and inevitably more hurt in the future. It is actually quite remarkable that more people don’t take that route. We all have our tragedies. We all have our own ways of dealing with them. It would be so easy to give in and give up. But we don’t. Yes when I was younger I was hoping for a cure that did not exist. I now know that there are other ways of dealing. I can take it. And even though it wants to suck every last bit of enjoyment from my body, I won’t let it. I will endure. I will hang on to every last bit of happiness and enjoyment that I am capable of experiencing. It will never take me over completely. I will not let it. |
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